The stay at home order is extended by a month and my school district announces its decision on e-learning. In e-learning, it's not like I have to clock in to class everyday and I might have the lightest class schedule but the online world has drained me not only physically but also mentally.
You know that feeling- when you are stomach sick that you have forgotten to do something, but in reality you are just fine😣 let me tell you about it.
Living in a virtual bubble is harder than I would have thought.
It's Monday morning and I get up to start my day. I would tell you what my typical Monday is like, but the fact is that it changes every week like the position of the moon. Anyways, it's a slow week for me and the noise of that alarm makes me get up at 7:50 am.
I go to brush my teeth and after doing so I stand in front of the mirror practicing my smile for this online meeting with a school counselor that will happen at 8 am.
It’s crazy right, that I have set myself up to have only 10 minutes to brush, practice smile, bathe, eat breakfast and other miscellaneous things before the meeting.
Wheew, I’m going to have to take the laptop to the bathroom and hope that I don’t get called on to talk while I’m in the shower. The mental stress of that alone
I’m out of the shower now and as the meeting goes on, the aroma from my brother making eggs just slightly slaps my nose and tahdah I remember I need to eat breakfast. I'm calculating in my head how to make breakfast and I finally just move my laptop to the kitchen and hope that no one asks me to speak or turn on my camera while I’m frying eggs. The mental stress of that alone
Well the meeting is over now and Physical Education class starts in 10 minutes. Tell me why the day I'm 2 minutes late to class because I didn't check my email during my 10 minutes break is the day that my Principal is addressing the class in PE class. In other words, I spend my 10 minutes break between classes and meetings reading emails and responding as needed so that I don’t find myself missing out on information because of the mental stress of that alone.
Settled into class, I have a bell ringer and independent practice questions to answer in the chat box as the teacher moves swiftly through the slides to get to the part where she assigns more homework. Meanwhile, my internet keeps going in and out because my brother is either streaming YouTube videos or playing fortnite. Wheeew, the mental stress of that alone
My stress heightens as another teacher posts their homework that is due that same week.
It's hard to keep up, but I must. And while I'm sorting out the homework, I'm this close to being late for another class.
Do you see this pattern of unending immersion to the internet and the laptop screen? I end up sitting in the same place, in front of a computer for more than 8 hrs a day like I'm working a 9-5 job with a few bathroom breaks.
Such an unending circle. The virtual world is taking a toll on mental health.
Let's just even pause and talk about how much effort I have to put into interpreting body language that you can barely see on camera and verbal cues- things that would be otherwise subconscious in physical conversations. Or the efforts one has to put in to make sure your technology is not the one glitching and giving all the background noise. Did we forget that when we turn on our camera, we have to make sure we are looking right in the right backgrounds.
Mmmh, moving on I have the same six words I have repeated above, the mental stress of that alone.
Happy mental health awareness month.
Even though things are different and many of us are indoors with family, we can still be mentally stressed. You’re not alone. A lot of people are more stressed than they look.
Let’s chat it up in the comments section. Feel free to share things that make you mentally stressed and what steps you have taken to relieve your anxiety. I myself have tried various things that I’ll be sharing in my next post. Be on the lookout and don’t forget to like and share YICA posts.
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